Finding Accountability
By: Justin Worden
Finding It Before Providing It
As I sat in the corner booth of the local Mexican restaurant with a student who was pouring his heart out about growing in God through his trials and difficulties, he asked me honestly, “what advice can you give me right now?” The answer I felt the Lord gave me for him was to surround himself with people who love Jesus more than him as he finds accountability.
The problem in ministry many times is that we, the ministers, forget that we can’t accurately provide accountability for others if we haven’t honestly found it for ourselves. Truly finding accountability can only happen once we understand its definition, its priority, and its power. Let’s dive in!
The Definition of Accountability
I’m a definition guy, so bear with me for just a sec. The origin of the word “accountability” is derived from the late Latin “accomptare” (to account or to calculate), which in turn is derived from “putare” (to reckon). This is why accountability is so foundational to the Christian faith and to student ministry in particular. It challenges the believer to calculate their life or give a reckoning, an account, of who they really are in this faith journey.
The best example of this giving account in my own life takes me back to the parking lot of the local YMCA building in the small rural town of Wauchula, Florida with my first real accountability partner, Jeff Hanshaw. I had just started out in student ministry around the age of 25 and I’ll never forget those real conversations with a real brother in Christ, leaning against his pickup truck after working out for a little bit most weekday mornings. Our conversations ranged from marriage to ministry, from purity to time with the Lord, from being a faithful servant of the church to being a man after God’s own heart. When I think of finding accountability as a man, I will forever be grateful for those conversations with Jeff.
Since then, I have learned how to not do accountability as well. Like meeting with a friend who was not interested in sharing any personal details about his own life and struggles (that was a very one-sided relationship). Or like sharing my struggles with the wrong person, which affected the families I ministered to directly. Being wise about selecting the right accountability partner is probably the most important decision after realizing accountability must be a priority in your life.
The Priority of Accountability
In student ministry, we can get really good at making ourselves look “too busy” for anything else, but we all know we make time for the things we decide are important. Yes, being with students is fundamental. Yes, sermon prep and worship planning are glorifying to God. But, if we are not making our spiritual life a priority, how in the world are we expected to help steward the spiritual growth of others?
Just as spending time with the Lord devotionally directly affects our preparation in His Word to present it publicly, our private accountability to others directly affects our public ministry with others.
I wish this was easier done than said, but we have to take a moment to address the biggest problems with true accountability as well. What are they? Simple… true accountability can be painful and it can be time-consuming. But, if someone is willing to deal with the painful process of finding an accountability partner and developing a rhythm of opening up and remaining consistently accountable to such partner, they will finally grasp the gravity of living a life with others over a life alone. This is the life described in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, where it reads, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” (CSB) Let’s never find ourselves in the position of falling without anyone by our side to lift us up. We were never meant to do this Christian life alone.
Side note: Accountability in my life has looked different over the last 26 years of being a follower of Jesus. I have had approximately 17 different accountability partners meeting with me in various places and through various methods such as daily workout sessions at the Y with Jeff, weekly lunch meetings with Steve, weekly breakfast hangouts with Stephen, weekly youth pastor Bible studies with Derek, Todd, Clay, and Lee, weekly coffee shop Bible studies with Madison, Matt, Jared, Adam, and Josh, and even weekly FaceTime calls/book studies with Stephen, Kris, Bill, Frank, Bryan, and Michael. Don’t limit yourself to who or how you meet with your partner.
The Power Of Accountability
Last, but certainly not least, unlocking the potential of accountability is realizing the power it can hold in one’s life. One of my favorite examples of this in student ministry was a Tuesday morning breakfast group I met with many years ago. Myself and 6 high school guys would gather before school each Tuesday at a local joint called Paul’s Kitchen. Often we would work through 6-week Christian Bible basic studies about integrity, purity, and other topics. What made this group unique was the authenticity that each of these young men showed. They were hungry, and not just for the special on the menu. These dudes were starving to grow in their leadership potential and for relationship with someone who would listen and grow with them. They were looking for the camaraderie that Dietrich Bonhoeffer describes when he talks about accountability. “A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself; he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person.” (Life Together, 1954)
There is power in doing life together, which is something we often forget the Covid-19 pandemic took from us. Do not remain isolated. That’s exactly where the Enemy would love for you to remain.
In case you haven’t figured it out by now, one of the most important benefits of finding accountability in your life is that it is necessary because it was modeled by Christ with His own disciples and will make more of an impact in the lives of fellow disciples throughout our journeys of faith. It is how we are made better, it is how we are sharpened in our faith… by each other. “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17, CSB) Be sharpened. Sharpen someone.
Why Not Start Now?
Hopefully the only remaining question you have to answer now is… what are you waiting for?
You should understand the importance of having accountability in your life by now, so the next step to take will probably be the best and the most difficult. It is the first step. Find accountability. Stop waiting for accountability to find you (it may never arrive without your willingness to seek it out first). If you find yourself at a loss for names of someone in your life to fit the role of a true friend, fellow disciple, and accountability partner; pause and pray and try it out. Make a list right now of the men in your life (or ladies if you are a female) who love Jesus more than you. It will be helpful to find someone outside of your immediate family or church family setting. Maybe even consider another local student pastor or friend in ministry who gets this life as you do. Whoever this person may be, give it a try. Be the friend for someone you wish someone would be for you.
One last caveat: If you find yourself saying this is too much work or you just don’t have enough time to do it, imagine your life without accountability and thank God for the pitfalls you are about to avoid and help others avoid because of your willingness to find true accountability. Trust me, it is worth it.
Want to dig deeper? An additional resource I highly recommend, when it comes to the need for and a practical guide to accountability, is chapter 23 of the book The Man In The Mirror by Patrick Morley. A Bible study transcript of this chapter is also available here: https://mimbiblestudy.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/16/2016/10/transcription-04-17-2015-accountability.pdf.
Justin Worden is the High School Pastor at First Baptist Cleveland in Cleveland, Tennessee.